K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
