btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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