Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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