wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
