So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
