oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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