she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
