And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake