We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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