I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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