I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize