Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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