Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Less talking, more tequila
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
