Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
