she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
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I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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