i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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