I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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