Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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