like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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