just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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