I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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