i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
