Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
