I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we're chasing vodka with high fives
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
