Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
