I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
