just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my nose is crying tears of wow.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
