i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
