hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Is it penis luge time yet?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
