loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
