You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
