Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
