If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
