Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
