Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
