how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
