i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
