Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Duck Duck Cougar?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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