Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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