so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
