What did we do last night that was yellow?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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