he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
