She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
