he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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