I'm jealous of your bromance
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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