We talked him into tasing himself.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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