She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
His hands were made for my vagina.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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