this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
