remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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