I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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