she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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