She's JV to your varsity
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
