chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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