they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Boobs speak an international language.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
