Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
