The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
